home! sweet (ish) home!

a full week with extended family... i'm spent.

i wanted it to be perfect - a full hollywood production (with great editing & magical score).

it wasn't. but it was real and occasionally fun ♥

*side note*

Beyond Golden Clouds:
Five Centuries of Japanese Screens
at the Asian Art Museum is splendiferous!

moi et ma famille @ the AAM

jejune (with benefits)

i suppose

the shiny & new have been removed from the penny. (but at least i have a penny ♥)

Did you think I'd crumble?

happy!happy! happy!happy!happy!

ridiculously excited to be part of something academic, creative & respected!

a proper, full-time, career position for me! and back at cal! my lay off was exactly the long overdue kick in the tukus i needed to get a better job & move the f**k on. (queue gloria gaynor ♥)

oh yes, it's '80s night & the feelin's right!

i had a wisdom tooth yanked out today. i feel so loopy & pouty (in a vicodin cloud - yawn). it scared me so much beforehand that my legs went completely wonky and twitchy. i really scared myself. feeling better now, but need a little t.l.c.

of course i'm once again having a movie night (any excuse, right). this weekend is pretty in pink, fame (1980), amadeus & desperately seeking susan! so now i'm cuddled up on the couch with my tea and blanket, (sent the boy out to the bars so i can be swollen without the embarrass) and waiting for my kitty-love. Suki! Strawberries! Get in here!

*Also....I have an interview on Monday!!! Fingers crossed! I had to have my phone interview today with gauze in my mouth...ridiculous!

the dork side

A few job prospects! Hoorah! Nothing definite, but the possibility of hope has lifted my spirits. As well as letting myself embrace my monumental dorky & nostalgic tendencies. Now that October is over (the month of the year when I need to feel hopelessly wistful and melancholy) I'm letting myself do what I need to do to feel better in the moment (read: wine, crap movies, sleeping in). Obviously, as I'm unemployed, just had a root canal, and have to have my wisdom teeth out in a couple weeks (fingers crossed this will finally put a stop to eating altogether) I think this is okay...prescriptive even. But, yay...job prospects!!!

This weekend I went to Napa to see my darling friend, Ashley (had lunch at Oxbow Public Market). I had the most amazing Meyer Lemony Lemon cupcake!


I baked a cake for Jimmy; we watched the divine Big Trouble in Little China (which I'm writing a piece on for the film blog) & a truly painful movie from 1990 called, Lisa (which I, embarrassingly, used to watch at sleepovers). Oh, the cruelty of 15!


And I've been listening to the Grateful Dead -American Beauty (a rarity for me, but its reminding me of a beloved and long-lost mixtape from my early undergrad years).

Like I said...this weekend is dorky, low-key and comfortable ♥

getting laid (off)

i really wanted a new job...obviously on my own terms and not because the museum is going under. 60% of the staff gone. i'm gutted. we all are.

sigh. time to start over again (again).

what is all this sweet work worth -

i really don't know life at all.

this is me...but i really don't who who that is anymore.
mostly underachieving.

and dreaming ♥

and naive.

Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

But now old friends are acting strange they shake their heads, they say I've changed. Something's lost but something's gained in living every day. I've looked at life from both sides now, From win and lose, and still somehow, It's life's illusions i recall. I really don't know life at all.

S.O.S.

I'm in need of a meadow!

I'm desperate for a field of green, wet grass to lie back in and to stare at the sky...sun warming my arms & legs...and to listen to the quite.

grrrr.....

neverending story....

so, i somehow...mysteriously...got closure on loads of issues/people haunting me since adolescence. this bizarre occurrence was brought on by a wedding reception -
anyway, lots of adolescent issues combined with the BEST '80s-90s station of all time ('1st wave' on satellite radio - thanks rental elantra) made for an angst-y, déjà vu & bittersweet weekend.

It's Here!!

The wait is over!

the fireworks

Since Quebec I've been so v. disappointed in myself - my job hunt & my get in shape plan. I've had a brilliant lack of oomph. I think I'm in a post-grad school existential haze. At least i got to see sweet Ashley this week when we went to the midnight Eclipse premiere (ridiculously silly & fun). To redeem my(fangirl)self I will be working at the San Francisco Silent Film Festival in a couple weeks. Always immensely impressive & inspiring. Other goodness - new IT Crowd episodes started too!!!

All-in-all I made some great outreach connections for the museum this week...but, it's hard to stay positive when I'm not there full-time. Oh well. Grrrr!

Since I have a (rare) day off with my man tomorrow, I will leave my worries at the door and do the following:

Sleep in!
Go to the movies!
Indulge in sweet summer fruit & other delights!
& catch up on my film blog
Sundaycinema

need a remind.....

feeling a bit...eh lately.

i will listen to the lucksmiths, drink tea & watch silly things until perkiness ensues:

....i just need to remember that life isn't always flash and adventure (for now).

that touch of quebec

I had an amazing time (even in the Metro)!


And now:
i miss being in a new place - i miss the accents - i am B-R-O-K-E!
&
the trip made me want to go back to london!

3 days!

Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!
Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!Montreal!

things i want:

a new job ♥

A Single Man to come out on dvd.

endless days which always posses some goodness & delight .......

& Robert.

thanks, love.

dear Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,
i love you.

i post this with love.

image

post post-grad blues

Overeducated, overtrained & underemployed is an absolute crap place to be.

Getting a PhD is starting to sound better & better - plus it
might be a way to live in the UK for a while ♥
...if only i wasn't in debt up to my eyelashes - no, no, no, I'd rather work!

the sweet science

so...i'm calling a TKO on my self-esteem!
(what's wrong with me? oh, right - i'm completely ridiculous).

*sigh* that said - my bod inspiration is gretchen mol in The Notorious Bettie Page (2005). wow! this is the BEST gretchen has ever looked (the art direction, hair/make-up, costuming & lighting design are well-done too, but still).


i watched this on IFC over the weekend - her performance is not amazing, but there is something undeniably adorable about her in this film. and while the real bettie page was striking and fit - i want gretchen's bod & confidence from this film.



Okay - diet, work-out & new job hunt begins tomorrow (after i catch up on Eastenders of course).

Look out world ♥