we meet again

my insomnia is back - like a ghost that just keeps haunting me. it's such a ridiculous part of my psychographic composition now that i'm not entirely sure if i don't actually need it in some way.

maybe a new bed...a new apartment...a new city...country...life.

you again?

oh, insomnia! why oh why oh why.

lovely side effects ♥

• cognitive damage
• depression
• weight gain
• impaired judgment
• memory loss
• aches

look out weekend/'cause here i come/because weekends/were/made for......

elusive fun at SF MoMA 75 Yr-Anniversary Party


days of delightful sleeping pill-y haze


and, as always....living in my own private idaho


eh :/

flickr & we heart it

yawn

i don't sleep. i rarely dream. my head is constantly in the clouds.

too busy to live....

insomnia deja vu....um, again.

I ever so foolishly gave up sleeping pills for 5 days...and now haven't slept in 4 days. I'm in knots in the middle and cloudy ribbons in my head. So, tonight I give in.....sweet Doxylamine!

I've been listening to a lot of old Cure songs lately and these lyrics from Closedown just seemed stunningly apt to my life right now -

I'm running out of time
I'm out of step and
closing down and
never sleep for wanting hours....
the empty hours of greed
and uselessly
always the need
to feel again the real belief
of something more than mockery
if only I could
fill my heart with love.

sleep, moi?

I have never heard a Neil Finn song that wasn't exquisitely detailed and crafted. Lyricists are so amazingly clever. Yeah...I've listened to Fall at Your Feet like 7 times today.

I'm in a bit of a mood. I feel sort of evaporated, keen, tenacious and oddly warm all at the same time. Only 17 hours until my doom ie. final exam. I promise, I will not sleep tonight.



Whenever I fall at your feet
you let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help
Who knows where that might lead
I fall.......

defective

omg - i am the most ridiculously spacey, cracked, absurd, faulty creature.

my daydreaming has made me useless! 2 weeks of summer school left and i can't hold a thought in my head for more than a flash.

sometimes I think its harder to be an enthusiast than an artist.



me = daydreamer


I thank God for my handicaps, for, through them, I have found myself.....
- Helen Keller

starry starry night

I finally slept - though induced to do so by lovely alcohol consumption was hardly the recuperative experience desired.

Conclusion: not ready to sleep yet. There is too much in the world to look at from behind closed eyes.

Insomniac - Day 9

This sleeplessness is driving me toward a place of wild imagination.

Is my subconscious punishing me for unfulfilled dreams in my waking life?
Is it demanding that I realize a life dream before I can rest again?
Alhough I've enjoyed lots of late night b-movies and endless cups of tea, I do have 2 1/2 weeks of summer school o finish!

The safety and comfort of peace allude me. It also kind of inspires me...
to do...something.

I think my sleeplessness is some sort of vigil.